I’m currently reading this book called Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It’s about the last lecture by Randy Pausch himself, who will die in 3 months time because of pancreatic cancer. He talks about childhood dream in his last lecture, and I begin to ask myself about my own childhood dream. It’s weird to remember that when I was a child I dared to dream about a lot of things.
I remember I once said I want to be a dentist because I liked this particular dentist who was really kind to me. And then I changed my mind, I want to be a teacher after I read this shoujo manga called Seito Shokun, later on I felt that teaching is a troublesome job so I changed my mind again, I know I was very fickle but what can you expect from a little girl. Later on around middle school I decided that I want to be a hairstylist or designer because I thought it was cool and suitable job for girls, however as time goes by I realized that I wasn’t that interested with hair and I wasn’t talented enough in drawing.
As you can see I don’t have one particular childhood dream. But if I look back, I envy my old self who dared to dream about many things, there were no limits or whatsoever, I could imagine myself as whatever I want. There are no boundaries for little kids and they should not have one. But since kid I know for sure I had problem with authority, I was very individual, I yearned for freedom and I looked up to people who did their own thing. I wanted to do my own thing too but that time I still didn’t know what I suppose to do.
To be honest I always have a dream to be a designer or anything involving arts, but I know I have limited talent in this area, therefore I secretly envy my dear friends who have this great artistic talent. Actually their talent is one of the reasons why I’m willing to maintain our friendship until now, I admire their talent and I wish them to achieve something great with it.
Credit: Flickr by ..utopiacere..
Fortunately for me who is good-for-nothing, I fell in love with writing in high school, and I know I’m not that great or something. But writing is something that I truly enjoy and I don’t need special talent for this. Anyone can write about anything, there are no boundaries in the writing world. Writing can set us free from whatever boundaries that we are facing, and I’m really glad that now we have this blogging facility, which enable people from all over the world to write and share their feelings.
Writing may not be my childhood dream, but it kinda channels something that I yearn since kids, the taste of freedom. As we grow up, we start to chain ourselves with something that always bring us down, the past, traumatic experience, abusive relationship, grudges, money, drugs, alcohol, sex, self-denial, bad habits, etc. Those invisible chains are worse than a prison, seriously, because we may never realize it.
And to everyone who has a childhood dream and still working on it, go for it! Be that child again and set yourself free from any boundaries. I’m still working to find my dream, it can be related to writing and it may not, but I know I will never stop writing, because it’s the wings for me to be free even just in fleeting moment.